the oracle

anna and i have this recurring joke.
whenever either of us ask a question that couldn't possibly be answered - for lack of knowledge, context, or concern - the other takes a moment to consult 'the oracle.'
so imagine our delight when we were told we could have our tarot cards read by the Oracle?!
actually it was a husband and wife team in salem massechusetts who ran a new age shop and wore far too much crystal/velour.
he was a bit like 'woogie' from 'there's something about mary.'
and she looked a bit like elvira.
the woman who recommended them was the barmaid at the local pub, 'in a pig's eye,' where we stopped for hot apple cider (with rum).
in retrospect, and having just discovered that 'in a pig's eye' means 'you're pulling my leg,' perhaps we should've taken her advice with a pinch of salt. but since you can only squeeze so many cliches into one night (and one sentence) we threw caution to the wind and headed out into the cold to ride the wave of the future. (beat that charlie!)

we couldn't stop giggling.
the mastercard sign just next to her 'table' should've been a sign that this was not about our fortunes but about theirs.
we handed over the cash anyway.
if i told you what they said, there's a chance it mightn't come true ... so i won't go into details.
i was hoping for a crystal ball telling of who, where and when.
alas ... i'll have to find that on my own.

so anna and i went to the lobster shanty and planted ourselves at the bar with bald barman bill who served us budweiser until we felt better about the fact we'd just parted with a ridiculous amount of cash for 30 minutes of rubbish.

i guess 'you get what you pay for' (anon)

i'll stick with the beer.